364 days later...

It's been that long since I've had to show up anywhere specific before 10am and be ready to work for an 8 hour block of time. I'm back in the working world now. But this time it seems like it'll be more enjoyable.

I felt like it was the first day of school going to work today. "Make new friends on the bus!" Jon told me last night, along with some comforting prayers.

As soon as I came in, I was thrilled to see that I get a window seat! And I really like my desk area. It's a glass-top desk that curves like an L, and it's right up against a window that overlooks the forest. I can watch the birds and get a sense of carefreedom.

The entire designers area seems pretty lax, the lights are low and there doesn't seem to be a lot of hustle and bustle, despite that people are actually working hard. I met three of the five other designers today. Bonzai (I doubt that's his real name), Burt and Stacey, all of whom are guys. (I think there's only one other girl). I chatted with Stacey for a while about the process of things and the workload. He seemed pretty cool about it, and how easy it is to maintain. (Good!) I noticed that they keep a pretty hefty stash of kit-kats, 3musketeers, reeces cups and tootsie roll pops.

Everyone I met was really nice and helpful and kept saying if I ever have any questions about anything, just ask and they'd be glad to help. I was impressed by how much time people spent talking with me; if they had bigger more hectic things to accomplish, they didn't show it, which is nice. I've felt shafted in that way before, but not here so far. Even the Boss Man (who really is only 2 levels up from my position with the way ARS is organized) seems pretty cool. He reminds me of J.K. Simmons, ha (the father in Juno/the head chief in Superman) only a skinnier, peppier version of that guy. My creative director reminds me of my good old friend Jason Brandt, too. (Hehe, that photo is from a group costume 3 years ago as the Goonies).

Anyway, I haven't worked on any actual projects yet, but I think one of my first projects will be a fun interactive thing. I spent today talking with people, doing paperwork, setting up my computer (where I get two monitors!), familiarizing myself with how they build web files, and watching some tutorials online.

Little Twins

I found some old video footage today, which I absolutely love the nostalgic nature of any old video without sound having decent music. I actually re-edited this one and put Wes Montgomery's 'In Your Own Sweet Way' to this clip.

In case you were wondering, I'm in red and Mandy is in blue. That rocking puppy thing was my absolute favorite toy. My rocking puppy song went "dee ka dee!"

Dad made us hug.

Employee'd.

I got the job!

Starting Monday I'll be working at ARS Marketing as an interactive designer, mainly for Kmart's website. It's an actual job with actual benefits and better pay than what I had at Noble. I'm excited, but mostly relieved. Jonathan is too. He took me out to Nabe for sushi to celebrate! Then we took a riverside walk and climbed a hill that looks just like the Windows desktop background.

I can't help but be nervous about starting. Contemplating the start of a new job always makes me second-guess my decision, but I'm sure it's nerves. I hope I will be happy for a while with this job.

It's A Shower Curtain!

Last year Christina Bowles intended to donate an unused shower curtain she had to a yard sale the Vineyard was having. Instead she gave it to me hoping I would make something of it one day (and I donated $4 to the Vineyard for it).

Today is that day, Christina. Here is the Christina Curtain Dress:





I really like the little tie in the back of the top. Isn't it amazing how the stripes on the back almost match up? (Yes.) It was on this skirt that I discovered (all on my own) how to install a zipper more efficiently and more perfectly too. (Make the seam, center the zipper on top of it, then open the seam to reveal the zipper. Genius).

I rather like the idea of curtain clothing. And I don't care if that's very VonTrapp children of me.

Transition.

I have another interview on Monday! With CreateHere. I'm excited to learn about this company. Getting this interview was a relief to me, so we'll see how that notion plays out.

I've been writing too much about jobs lately, I need to write something recreational for a change. I'm sitting on Jon's porch. He's reading. I'm watching the cars go by and joggers cut through his front yard. It took me an hour to get here today, because for some reason East Brainerd had me trapped for 40 minutes. No matter which way I tried, there was absolute blockage to the highway, or some police barricade. It was ridiculous.. and I realized how impatient I am in slow traffic, even more so than any regular instance.

Anyway. I love the transition weather between summer and fall. It's crisp and lovely. There's something about it that makes me feel like something great and progressive is about to happen.. and I like that it happens near my birthday each year. It's the gift I always enjoy but don't always recognize. Last year I lost my job at Noble and was in the midst of planning my move to Chattanooga. This year, well I guess I'll be starting a new job. But oh yeah, I'm not talking about jobs in this entry.

Jon lives behind the McKee Little Debbie factory. I still want to go over there and either sneak a peek in the windows or ask for a legit tour of this place. I want to marvel at the oompa loompas churning the chocolate for the chocolate cupcakes.

Job News

I have two job interviews tomorrow!

One is for the production web designer position with ARS Marketing at 10am, the other is with True North Publishing for the graphic designer position at 2:30pm. I'm a little nervous to have both in one day, but at the same time I think it will help my confidence. I'm still wanting to interview with CreateHere. Gosh, if they all want to hire me, it sure would be nice to have the option to choose the one I think would suit me best.

Ugh.. Ohh?

Wellll... I don't think it's really "safe" to post something about jobs yet because it's probably premature. But I'm going insane waiting for things to come of my hard work and stress last week trying to land interviews or turn in applications. I'm tempted to keep writing here until the phone rings with good news. The position I'm holding on to right now is with a boring-sounding company called Infosystems. They have an opening for a receptionist, which I actually started getting a little excited about, until I learned today that my chances are between that and some customer service position. Customer. Service. Yuck. Maybe I will get the receptionist, though. The company sounds decent enough, for an IT business, and it's less than a mile from my apartment. The woman I talked to spoke highly of their relationship-oriented focus, medical and 401k benefits, and flexible vacation. I'm sure that a position like this would pay more than the art and fabric stores I'd been considering.

It is extremely hard for me to do this. I feel as though I'm letting go of my artistic/designer aspirations as a profession for something hum-drum just to get back on my feet, where I'm actually saving money again. I prayed with Jon about it the other day, and with Joy about it at church yesterday. Both certainly give me peace about my worries, but I'm afraid I just haven't been able to get over doing something that I once cursed: Corporatude. Cubicals! ugh.

I still plan to freelance on the side, but I worry that it'd make me so busy on nights and weekends.. which gets me back to a topic I discussed many times while I was bored at Noble: valuing life and relationships versus working myself to death like I tended to in college for my degree. That, as well as working full time, tended to make me less inclined to do extracurriculars, like church projects, which is why I was hardly involved with the Springfield Mo Vineyard. It was hard for me to commit to those things. I'd hate to see that happen again, not that I intend it will, but when I get busy I focus on the things that make me so, and little else, because things have to get done and that's just how it goes. The nature of the beast, we used to say in the design program....

Whoah, hold the phone.

My Infosystems contact just called me back with some information about a graphic design position with a company called Createhere. It's a non-profit organization that sounds like it does work for a lot of different companies around town. I talked to the contact the Infosystems gal referred me to, and he said they'd already interviewed four people. There are positions open and they are hoping to fill them in the next week or two. It sounds like to start it isn't full-time, and they assign work as it comes. Some are 5 hour projects, some are 20 hour projects depending on what you're capable of and what comes. But he said eventually they'd like to make full time positions.

I shared with him my abilities for web and animation and he seemed really interested in me. I went ahead and applied right away. I thought it was interesting that they ask for two samples of writing with the application (I asked if the designers do copywriting and he said sometimes they do) so I found some good short articles I'd written (actually I took them from my previous xanga blog and spiffed them up a bit for professional consumption) that I felt were good examples of my writing, and were also selections that say a bit about me and my personality. One was comparing the "high-art" style of older cartoons to the "assemly-line commodity" cartoons we see today.. and the other was my review of the latest Indiana Jones movie, ha.

Gosh I really want this. Even if it isn't quite full time.. it really sounds like it has potential, and I'm sure it would pay more than an art or fabric store job, and it'd certainly be a better use for my abilities than a customer service representative. I hope my prayers were just answered. You saw it happen, if this is true....

Ungreat.

Today isn't a great day, so I'm writing because I'm upset. My worries about financial situations came around again and so I felt the need to go out and find something. I stopped by my apartment office to see if they needed anyone part time. They didn't. I considered Hobby Lobby as I went by there for some small materials, at the same time couldn't pull myself to take on something I felt was way beneath my potential.

I went by Target to use a gift card my mom gave me for a few groceries. She probably intended for me to use it for clothing or something "nice" just for myself. I bought a loaf of bread, cheese, milk and applesauce. I also ran into Lora Pierce in line, with her 2 girls. "Buying yourself some lunch?" she asked. I said "Yeah" but not really lunch, more like provisions for the week. I felt stupid. I paid with the gift card and came home.

I put my projects I'd been working on earlier away and sat down at my desk and called ArtCreations, the art store I've been trying to get a part time job with at their new location since April. I asked for the manager, but had to leave a message. Annoyed, I shared some frustrations with my sister through email. She gave me a rant about not being mature and having a steady job whether I like it or not, especially considering that Jon and I will be planning a wedding in the near future. As she usually does, she quoted Ferris Bueller's Day Off with "Between grief and nothing, I'll take grief." She said she was getting frustrated with my being frustrated at not finding something more supportive, and went off on me, about me not wanting to work part time or give up all the things I've worked for to make my own business successful. She said getting into a marriage means thinking more about the other person than myself, and that I was doing us a misfortune by sticking to what I'm comfortable with in terms of income for the both of us, and that it should be equivalent efforts.

I do agree that I'm being selfish by not wanting to give in to something seemingly less desirable than me working for myself and making good money at it, IF I could even do that. Before I read that email she sent, I did more job searching and found an open position for a graphic designer at True North Publishing which is actually the company I'd wanted to get on with over a year ago when I was looking and before I left Noble. I applied for it via email. Their listing says they don't accept phone calls, but I called and the receptionist said just to apply and wait to hear anything further.

I got really excited as I read their description about their fun working environment, great benefits plans, full medical, 401k and all that jazz.. so I told Mandy about it and she acted like she was still frustrated with me and said she didn't want to talk anymore. This frustrated me greatly. Greatly meaning to tears. And the thought of this opportunity not working out (as all the others so far had not) and us trying to start a marriage on almost nothing made them continue to pour.

I don't know a good way to end this, but I think I'll just hope and pray to get this job for now, and can you pray for me to get it? I'm willing to give up my "free"lancing, to put all my efforts of late on the side burner, and to have less free time...in order to stabilize and provide for us.