Depending on your personality, you may or may not feel the need for an often-there, same-sex friend. I used to have a number of these, and it was nice. I don't anymore, and it's not as nice. When I'm busy I don't think about it, but when I'm not and just feeling like it'd be nice to hang with someone I don't see every day, I wish for one. There's a number of people I know that I'd love to hang out with on a regular (weekly, every other week) basis, but people are busy, and other things are priority over their friendships I guess.
Why don't we make more time for our friends? Why do we seclude off when we get married, get older, when we multiply, etc? Not all of us do this, because (from the aid of Facebook allowing us to monitor others' lives without really making an effort to) it's obvious that groups of friends do still get together regularly. But not all of us do. Some of us may desperately want to. Others of us couldn't care less. And others of us do care but are unaware of those looking for them to be around more.
I wish we lived down the street from some of our friends here. It seems like that physical proximity would make a lot of things much easier. Suddenly people become more available when your place is easier to get to. It's true, it seems.
Just some thoughts: Tell people you want to hang with them. Be more open to people telling you they want to hang with you. Realize it'll do you good, even if it's not in your routine. I think as we get older, busier, more tired, what have you.. we come up with reasons not to keep certain human connections with those we're not related to. If you submit yourself to the idea of stepping out, you'll find you were glad you did.. AND it'll give you energy, to cure your "busy" or to cure your "tired".
I'm starting to take action. A girl's night had been started among gals at church, which I took lead of when it started to fizzle about a year or so ago. I'd like to do something every other week with it, but sometimes I just don't have the money to go out that often. I'd love to host my home, but I feel like I can't effectively do that where we are. People who live downtown are less interested in a trip to the boonies I think. So I feel like to really get this going may partially pivot upon our move. I'm looking forward to getting it going more regularly though.
I'm doing something!
good for you! I couldn't live without my girlfriends. I don't get to see them as much as I would like as most of them are married. But it works.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, YOU are the one who moved away! ;). Second of all, I agree. I woman I used to work with (and still keep in touch with) is part of a group of women who have done "Girls' Vacation" with the same group for the past 30 YEARS!!
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